Tuesday, February 7, 2012


today was a milestone event as we sent coen off for his first day of preschool. even as i type this i am wondering how we ended up here. two weeks ago i would have told you that we decided to wait on  preschool. i would have explained that once you start this school thing, you are in it for a good FIFTEEN years. i would have told you that i thought coen deserved another year at home, lounging in his pj's and doing things at his pace. honestly, i still agree with all of those things. 

but as we settled back into our routine at home and started attending our parent/child preschool class that meets once a week, the child development specialist began to encourage me to get coen engaged with kids his age. our sweet boy looooves him some older kids, is very withdrawn from playing with kids his own age, and still has some separation from mama anxiety. and now that he is just about 3, i feel like it is my job as his mama to help him out. i found a preschool that was willing to be flexible with us. most all preschools in hawaii are full time, with no exceptions. none of us were ready for full time, but 2 days a week from 9-noon seems like a good place to start. and let's face it, as much as i love him, i drag coen to every appointment and errand...and it is exhausting. maybe we can both enjoy our preschool time?

so here we are. we visited once last week, and again on monday and today was our first drop off. it went just as i expected, lots of crying. but i was strong and confident and didn't cry till i got to the car. here are a few facts about coen's first day of preschool, we will laugh at this someday, right?! 

1. he tried to escape by attempting to climb the wooden baby gate in the doorway and scraped up his ankle. he has told me at least 10 times since then that, "i don't like climbing gates anymore." 

2. in the car i asked him what he did at preschool today. his response, "i just hit the aunties and i hit some of my friends. and i got a time out." (on the island, instead of miss, everyone is an auntie). 

3. they talked about feelings today and then each child got to make a feeling face that described how they felt. when i walked into the room coen pointed to his and said, "i made a very sad face" (see below). i almost lost it right then and there. 

i will be honest, when i picked him up and learned about his day i wanted to scoop him up in my arms and run far far away and never ever go back. i imagine that is exactly how he felt too. 

being a mama is hard. 

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